


Does This Angle Make My Thighs Look Big?

by EDGYonpurpose



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Dipper is a drama queen, F/F, Human Bill Cipher, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'll probably edit it when it's finished, I'm sorry i cant help who i am, M/M, Rating May Change, Tags Are Hard, The title has nothing to do with the story, Writing on a whim, a lot of trademarking, bill has no idea how to be human, cross dressing, dorks everywhere, gravity falls politics, i have no idea where this story is going, memes. just memes, possible lingerie, pretty short chapters not gonna lie, seriously are there rules...?, so basically it is just gonna be random
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 09:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6652462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EDGYonpurpose/pseuds/EDGYonpurpose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been 6 years since our favorite mystery twins first visited Gravity Falls, and now they’re back to spend a normal, non paranormal summer with the Stans. It’s too bad nothing is normal when it comes to Dipper and Mabel Pines. The town has decided to have an election and it looks like a sure win for local enthusiasm enthusiast Tyler Cutebiker, the current mayor. That is, until a strange man shows up and throws his hat into the ring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dresses, Angst, and Triangles Running For Office

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own. Thank you.
> 
> This is my first time uploading fanfiction so it's probably terrible. I'm sorry in advance. I decided to write this story on a whim so updating will be sporadic at best. Though I can be coerced into writing, hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge.

The wind blew Dippers hair softly as he and Mabel drove down the road to the mystery shack. They were finally back. After six long years the self proclaimed “Mystery Twins” were back in Gravity Falls, although Dipper wanted nothing to do with the paranormal this year. He had had his fill for the paranormal the last time they visited their great uncles. No, Dipper had more…  _ pressing  _ issues to deal with. 

 

When they finally pulled up to the Mystery Shack Mabel all but rolled out of the car and nearly tackled the unsuspecting Stan.

 

“Grunkle stan!” She exclaimed excitedly as she hugged him tightly. “I missed you!”

 

Stan awkwardly squeezed her back before lowering his arms with a chuckle. “Good to see you too, knuckle head.”

 

Mabel stepped back with a beaming smile as her twin watched awkwardly. What would they think of him when they found out. He was weak, and grunkle stan had always made a point to “toughen him up” when he was 12, and he didn’t want to disappoint his family. 

 

“Come on kids, let’s get you settled in,” their grunkle called over his shoulder. Both followed obediently, Mabel practically bouncing while Dipper dragged his feet. 

 

Stan and Ford had set up a room for Mabel on the main floor while dipper would get their childhood room, which comforted him with the fact he could get away from everyone when needed. Dipper had been been more withdrawn as of late, spending more time studying and reading. He just didn’t feel up to being around people much anymore. Mainly due to the pressing issue previously mentioned. 

 

***

 

Dipper and Mabel fell exhausted into chairs after unloading all of their things and putting them away. It took longer than either had expected and now all they wanted to do was curl up and sleep for days, even Mabel, who seemed to have an endless reserve of energy. Ford laughed at the sight of the half asleep 18 year olds practically collapsed in the living room. 

 

“Come on, let’s have dinner and then you can go off to bed. You look dead on your feet!” 

 

Both agreed without argument and were soon stumbling off to their rooms. Dipper stepped into his room with a sigh as he saw the source of all his problems. A dress sat innocently on his dresser. It was black with a Peter Pan collar covered in delicate lace, it had 5 buttons running down the front, 1 of which placed into the collar. It had sleeves and a pronounced waist line, the length would come to his knees had it been on. And he had worn it before. He loved the feel of having the dress on, and would wear more dresses if he weren’t so afraid of rejection. 

 

He sighed, deciding he would deal with it in the morning. He slowly pulled a pair of pajamas out of his dresser before pulling off his clothes, being mindful of the way he moved as any wrong movement sent a shock of pain up his body. After dressing he crawled into his bed, still painfully aware of the dull ache in his limbs, and crashed as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

 

***

 

She skipped up the stairs in her usual bubbly fashion. Her purpose: to wake up her twin brother with as little damage as possible. Which, considering his Mr. Grumpy-Grump moods as of late, is a mission nearly impossible. But Mabel, ever the optimist, decided that a small chance was better than no chance. 

 

She reached the door to her brothers room where she knew the dragon lay. She thought over her options and decided the best course of action was a loud sound. So, with excitement practically rolling off her in waves, she turned the door handle and slammed it open. She stepped in the room and looked directly into Dippers startled, sleep hazed eyes. 

 

“Time to get up bro-bro, we have stuff to do today!” 

 

She inspected the room as Dipper grumbled under his breath. She looked at the massive bookshelf in the corner of the room, overflowing with books. But not the books that most would read, no, they were filled with information and research. She scrunched her nose. She didn’t understand how anyone could read nothing but research. Cold hard facts without so much as one unicorn. She found out in her high school years that if you wanted imagination, you had to provide it yourself. Saving her mental rant for later, her eyes continued to search the room until they landed on the dresser. She would have let her eyes wander by if it weren’t for the dress sitting on top. It was elegant, yet not too dressy. She admired it for a minute more before realization hit her. Why is there a  _ dress _ in her  _ brothers  _ room. 

 

***

 

Dipper had managed to get himself untangle from his sheets and was about to kick his sister out when he noticed the shocked look on her face. He followed her eyes to a sight that made his stomach clench in nerves and his blood rush to his face and down his neck.

 

“I-I… um… that i-isn’t mine… I-I’m holding it f-for a friend. Y-yeah a friend.”

Mabel, finally being pulled out of her stupor gave him a strict look that clearly said she didn’t believe him. “A friend? Which one?”

 

“U-Uh it was,” He looked around the room desperately trying to think of a name, “Door-is Book-er?”

 

Mabel looked unimpressed. “Is that a question or a statement?”

 

If possible, the blush on Dipper's face intensified. He was sure his face resembled a tomato. “A statement?”

 

Mabel rolled her eyes. “Go put it on.”

 

“B-but-” Dipper tried to protest but she quickly cut him off. 

 

“You and I both know that you’re a horrible liar. Now put it on or I’ll put it on you myself.”

 

Dipper knew she wasn’t kidding. Instead of arguing he sighed in resignation. 

 

“Let me get showered first?” 

 

She nodded her consent and sat down on his bed. “I’ll be waiting here so don’t try and run.” 

 

He nodded and grabbed his toiletries and the dress, leaving quickly.

 

***

 

He stood in front of the mirror inspecting himself. The dress flowed around him like a waterfall. It felt soft around his legs and fit just right. He smiled to himself before it disappeared. What would Mabel think. What would his family think for that matter. He didn’t want to be the odd one out. He tried to hate the feeling of the dress on his body, but he couldn’t. It felt right. He sighed and walked out of the bathroom and back to his room. He hesitantly opened the door and locked eyes with Mabel as he stepped in the room. He was trying to mentally prepare himself for the disapproval that he was sure would come. Instead he got an armful of Mabel.

 

***

 

She looked up into his stunned eyes and gave him a beaming smile. “You look so adorable. I swear that dress was made for you! You are absolutely stunning!”

 

He let out a relieved breath and Mabel knew she was afraid of her rejection. She pulled him further into his room and sat him on the bed.

 

“You know I would never push you away for something as silly as a dress right?” 

 

He looked down, guilt clearly written on his features. “I just don’t want to disappoint you. Or the Stans. They would never accept me…”

 

Mabel’s heart hurt at his admission. She would prove him wrong. She grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs all the while yelling for her grunkles. 

 

“Mabel!” Dipper protested, trying to get his wrist out of her death grip. “Are you crazy?! What are you doing?!”

 

“I’m proving to you that we love you no matter what you wear.” She replied. 

 

Stan and Ford were in the kitchen and gave them a questioning look. They showed no outward signs that dippers apparel bothered them.

 

“What,” Stan grunted.

 

“Do you love Dipper any less because he is wearing a dress?”

 

The two looked at each other, seemingly having a conversation with their eyes. Ford was the one to reply.

 

“Of course not! We don’t care what you wear Dipper. If it makes you happy then it makes us happy!”

 

“Yeah, you knucklehead,” Stan agreed.

 

“GROUP HUG!” Mabel shouted and dragged Dipper to their grunkles. He giggled quietly while wrapping his arms around his family. Mabel laughed happily, glad that she could help her brother, Ford chuckled, glad to finally get dipper to open up, Stan awkwardly hugged them back, secretly basking in the love of family, Dipper was overjoyed, glad that he could finally be himself.

 

***

 

Dipper smiled all the way through breakfast. He couldn’t hide the joy that he felt at his family’s acceptance. He smiled so wide it hurt his face.

 

“Dipper!” Mabel exclaimed excitedly. “You should let me do your makeup!”

 

Dipper blushed but allowed himself to be dragged off. He was actually really interested in what she had in mind.

 

***

 

Ford walked down the hall towards Mabel’s room where an excessive amount of giggling could be heard from down the hall. He opened the door to see Mabel putting a metal contraption up to his eye. Ford was immediately put on edge.

 

He cleared his throat garnering their attention. “Mabel, what are you doing to Dipper’s eye?”

 

They both dissolved into giggles. “I’m not doing anything to his eyes. I’m curling his eyelashes!”

 

Ford nodded, even though he had no idea what that meant and quickly changed the subject. “There’s a meeting at town hall today. Would you guys like to come?”

 

Mabel readily agreed but Dipper looked hesitant. 

 

“You’ll be fine Dipper. And if anyone says something to you I’ll blast them with my laser gun.” He tried to placate causing Dipper to laugh. 

 

“Alright. I’ll go.” 

 

Mabel cheered before saying they would be out when she was finished with Dippers makeup.

 

***

 

“Okay, all done!” Mabel exclaimed enthusiastically. She done a pretty good job, choosing colors that brought out his mocha brown eyes and a light blush. Eye liner and mas quera made his eyes pop even more.

 

She held up a mirror so he could inspect himself. He silently did so for 5 minutes before he suddenly launched himself into her arms. 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

 

She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around him. “You’re welcome bro-bro.”

 

***

 

They sat in town hall waiting for the meeting to begin. Dipper and Mabel were eagerly talking about women's fashion and planning a shopping trip to Gravity Falls Mall, not paying one bit of attention to the people around them. Most of them didn’t seem to care Dipper was in a dress, but some glared like he was the cause of everything wrong in the world. When the session officially began, most people had noticed Dippers attire, but he couldn’t bring himself to really care. 

 

He and his sister turned their attention to the town mayor, Tyler Cutebiker, waiting to see what this meeting was all about. 

 

“Good afternoon citizens of Gravity Falls. It has come to my attention that other towns have elections often. So we decided that we would do that. Anyone that would like to run should throw their hats into the ring.”

 

He proceeded to do just that. They waited on baited breath to see if anyone would go up against the local enthusiasm enthusiast. 5 minutes later, when it looked as if no one was going to go up against Tyler, a hat was thrown. It was like time slowed down, every eye was on the hat. It was was a black top hat that made dread settle in dippers stomach. It landed and all eyes locked onto the new comer. He was tall, and had tan skin. He wore a white button down shirt with a gold vest and a black bowtie. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of white converse. His hair was blond that looked gold where the light got it. His eyes were a bright blue that seemed to glow with an ethereal power, his lips were full and his nose was perfectly straight. His smirk was down right malicious. 

 

The person laughed, the sound was manic. 

 

Dipper turned to his twin. “Who is that Person?”

  
***


	2. Smol beans being beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill talks to the twins... stuff  
> a very smol chapter  
> pls forgive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a small update. I decided to post it because I'll be out of town this weekend and won't be able to write....  
> enjoy??????????????

“That’s William Bilius Cipher. He moved to the town a few months ago. Strange man, if i’m being honest, very reclusive.” Tad Strange piped up from beside Dipper.

Dipper immediately paled at the revelation… Cipher, as in triangle demon that used him as a puppet when he was 12? He looked over to his sister whose eyes were wide with recognition. Why hadn’t their grunkles warned them? They simultaneously looked over to the Stans who looked completely unconcerned about the proceedings. How could they not know? Especially since Ford had personally dealt with the demon on a much larger scale than either Dipper or Mabel.

Dipper looked around. Everything was in color, there was no gray scale to be seen, so that ruled out the possibility that this was a horrible dream. Dipper thought he had seen the last of the dorito when they had the scare for an impending apocalypse, which, miraculously, didn’t happen. Dippers thoughts traveled a mile a minute, he was completely lost to the storm of theories and ideas. So lost, in fact, that he didn’t notice that the center of his thoughts was staring at him.

***

_Bill Cipher?!_ Mabel thought with a confused and slightly hysterical air around her. _Why is he here and why on earth is he human??_

She watched him closely as he looked around the room with a smug smirk, but his mask of superiority slipped as his eyes locked on her twin. Though he quickly regained his smirk as Tyler continued after it was clear no one else wanted to run.

“Well, it looks like we’ll have some friendly competition! I looked forward to being your opponent Mr. Cipher!” Tyler exclaimed excitedly.

Bill cackled. “Then let the elections begin!”

The people of Gravity Falls cheered and left the building with chants of “Election!” or, in the mayor's case, “Get ‘em!”. Mabel looked over to Dipper, conversing with their eyes. The message was clear: let’s beat it, and quick!

They rushed out the door, nearly making a get away, before they were stopped by the baritone of Bill’s voice.

“Hey Pine Tree, Shooting Star!” He said, quickly catching up with them. Mabel cursed under her breath. Dipper looked to be on the verge of hyperventilation.

“Um, hi. Do I know you?” She said quickly, trying to play the ignorant card. But it clearly didn’t work as Bill only raised an eyebrow.

“Does your brother always hyperventilate when he meets new people?” Bill asked with a mocking smile.

Mabel sighed. She knew it had been a long shot. “What do you want, Bill.”

“Well since you asked, I would like you guys to be my friends.” He explained looking between the twins.

Dipper gaped. “You want to be our _friends_?! Why would you want that. If I remember correctly you wanted us dead the last time we met!”

“Those are technicalities, and those don’t really matter,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively, “besides, I would have only been speeding up the inevitable! You humans sure do have short life spans!”

Though Dipper looked horrified at the thought of being friends with the demon, Mabel saw an opportunity. Having Bill as a friend instead of an enemy would be nice in case of an apocalypse, she decided. So before Dipper could go to decline Mabel stepped in.

“Alright. We’ll be your friends.” She said simply.

Dipper gaped at her while Bill grinned. He shook both their hands. “Pleasure doing buisness with you. Pines’ are so amusing!”

They fell into an awkward silence, so awkward you could cut the tension with a knife. “Well, we have to go. See you around, I guess.” Mabel said before she and her twin hastily retreated.

Bills laughter followed them all the way back to the shack.

***

Lunch around the small table in the kitchen of the mystery shack was silent. Ford and Stan were tense, waiting for the question they both knew were on the tip of the twins tongues. Dipper and Mabel, on the other hand, were trying their hardest not to ask. Though both curious, Dipper was having an infinitely harder time biting his tongue. He wanted to dramatically flip the table and demand answers, instead he pushed his spaghettios around the bowl, his leg bouncing with his anxious energy.

Mabel was the first one to crack. “Why didn’t you tell us Bill became human and moved to Gravity Falls?!”

Dipper nodded eagerly. Ford sighed and Stan tensed.

“Listen kids. When he first moved in, we too were suspicious. Ford even confronted him. Words were exchanged and now we have a truce. Don’t worry about it, and stay away from him.” Stan said gruffly.

The twins knew that staying away was going to be hard considering they were friends, if you could even call it that. Bill wouldn’t stay away now that they knew that they were there, no matter if the twins tried to avoid him. Both agreed upon seeing the expectant look on their grunkles face.

Lunch passed in silence before Mabel jumped up from her seat proclaiming that she and Dipper were going the mall. Dipper would deny the fact that he was excited. She dragged him from the house and they headed over to the mall. Dipper pushed the “Bill problem” to the back of his mind. He wouldn’t let him ruin their day. Besides, the Bill situation couldn’t cause that many problems. Right?

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized how little I've written for this chapter! Hopefully longer and better updates will come with the summer, but for now this will have to do. I'll try and update faster and keep up with this story. It has literally become my child. Feel welcome to berate me! Until next time :3


	3. Dorks Just Wanna Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill comes over for a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna say sorry, I just pray that you'll go easy on me for not updating.

Dipper was, to say the least, grumpy. It has been a week since the town meeting and the whole town was a buzz with excitement. You could practically smell the politics. Dipper was annoyed with all of it. He had never liked politics as they just confused him. But it was worse in Gravity Falls. It was almost like  Quentin Trembley had thought to himself “What is the best way I can make politics more confusing? Oh, I know, let’s make a bird choose!” Though, maybe he was just insane. 

 

He sighed as he walked aimlessly through the house. He couldn’t quite remember what he had been doing… 

 

The pounding on the front door might have had something to do with it, no that had just started… he’d think about it later. 

 

He walked to the door. His socked feet treading softly, so as to not give away his position. He slowly rose to his tippy toes, as he was too short to, to reach the peephole. He looked out only to see startling blue eyes. He fell back with a soft cry, nearly toppling over, the only thing keeping him up was the death grip he had on the door nob. He slowly stepped back, fully planning on pretending he never heard the incessant knocking, he was so close, but the voice on the other side of the door stopped him.

 

“I know you’re there Pine Tree.” His sing-song voice was muffled by the door, but loud enough that had one of his grunkles been near by, he would have been toast. 

 

He stalked back to the, mindfull of his slippery socks, and harshly yanked the door open. 

 

“Bill!” He hissed. “What are you doing here? If Stan or Ford see you, I’ll be a gonner!”   
  


Bill cackled. “No need to get your panties in a twist! Hey, where’s shooting star?”

 

Dippers face bloomed in red at the panties comment, whether it was shame or embarrassment he couldn’t be too sure. 

 

“I-” Dipper choked on his words. “Um she’s here. Let me go get her.”

 

Dipper, having almost no social skills and never having friends over, didn’t know whether to invite him in or shut the door. He bit his lower lip deciding to leave the door open. He turned on his and ran down the hall, slipping and sliding as he forgot about his socks. He yanked open Mabel’s door and slammed the door behind him. 

 

Mabel looked at him in concern. “What’s up bro-bro?”

 

“Bill’s at the door asking for you and I have no idea what to do. What does he even want? Oh man I left him at the door! The door is open! Mabel you have to fix this!” He rambled in one breath.

 

Mabel stared at him blankly before a bright grin spread on her lips. “You are such a dork,  _ little  _ brother!”

 

Dipper flushed and mock glared at her. Even though both of the twins had grown considerable, Mabel still had that extra millimeter which irked dipper to no end. 

 

“You are only  _ 1 _ millimeter taller than me!”

 

Mabel only laughed as she pushed past her irritated twin and ran down the hall where she realized Dipper hadn’t been kidding when he said he left the door open. Mabel turned to look at her brother who had followed at a more sedated pace.

 

“Scratch being a dork, you’re an Ultra Mega Dork™.” Her eyes were bright at the laughter she heard behind her. 

 

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Mabel, you can’t just add a trademark,” he whined. 

 

“I can and I will!”

 

“Wow, pine tree, I didn’t know you liked to whine! Do you also beg?” Bill snickered. 

 

Dipper spluttered before saying sharply under his breath, “Goddamn you Cipher.”   
  


Mabel heard him though and whirled around placing her hands on her hips. “Dipper, what did I tell you about swearing?”

 

“Not to do it” 

 

“Go put a quarter in the swear jar.” 

 

Dipper, still grumbling, pulled out a quarter and put it in the jar on the table, bringing the grand total to 4 quarters. Mabel had a feeling that jar would soon be filled much like Stan’s jar. 

 

Bill laughed again and Dipper turned an interesting shade of red looking mortified. 

 

***

 

“You know what,” her brother said in exasperation, still red as a tomato and looking slightly constipated, “I am going up stairs and never coming down!”

 

He turned on his heel and practically stomped up the stairs. Mabel laughed at him. 

 

“While you’re up there, please change out of your pajamas. We have things to do today!”

 

Dipper just waved his hand and disappeared from sight. 

 

“He’s such a dork.” She said softly, a fond tone in her voice. 

 

“You’re telling me! I don’t even know how to interact like a normal person and even I could tell that was the wrong way to do it!” Bill said loudly. 

 

“Dipper is right though. If our Grunkles find out you’re here, they’ll kill us. Let’s go outside…” Mabel said walking past him and out to the porch. She sat down on the steps and patted the spot next to her. 

 

He plopped down cheerfully next to her, smashing his hand in the process, though he only looked interest. Mabel, being the nice person she is, decided right then and there she and Dipper would help him anyway they could.

 

“If you’re going to be human you have to act like one. Today marks the start of Mabel’s Guide Human-ish 101™! First off, when you hurt yourself, you have to act like you’re in pain. Come on, give a little wince.” 

 

Bill made his face contort into a small grimace. Mabel being Mabel gave him a sticker. Bill cheered as dipper walked out freshly showered and dressed. He sat next to mabel and looked at Bill warily. Bill just grinned. 

 

“Hey Mabel, maybe you could teach Dipper how to act like a normal human too!”    
  


Dipper glared. “Haha, very funny. Are we gonna go or do you wanna sit around all day?”

 

Mabel smiled and grabbed Bill’s arm. “He’s coming with us!”

 

Dipper sighed knowing this would happen. “Woe-is-me.”

 

“Stop being such a drama queen and get in the car, dork.” Mabel said, sliding into the passenger seat. 

 

Dipper climbed into the driver’s seat. Bill, much to Mabel’s amusement squished his gangly legs into the car. Dipper cheered up a little at the sight, but quickly lost his small smile as Bill snatched the flower crown off his head. 

 

“Why would you wear a fake branch with fake flowers on your head? Humans are weird.”

 

Dipper, deciding he didn’t care anymore, asked the question that had been running through his head all week. “What is your campaign Bill?”

 

Bill looked slightly sheepish. “I was actually hoping you guys would help me. I have no idea what you humans like!”

 

Mabel looked at Dipper, he nodded his head. “We’ve sure got our work cut out for us.”

 

They all fell silent then. Mabel pulled out her phone while Dipper kept his eyes on the road, occasionally singing along with the songs on the radio. 

 

Bill silently observed them. It was amazing to see how strange humans acted.

 

Mabel suddenly gasped in outrage. “What the heck?! Mary, you can’t just boss people around! I don’t care who you think you are! You should treat Mike with more respect! Hashtag team Mike Hashtag forget Mary.” 

 

Bill looked confused. “Who are you talking to?”

 

“Oh just sharing my opinion on the ongoing fight that is Mike and Mary on my tumblr. It is outrageous how she thinks she can just tell mike what to do!”

 

“So in other words she is helping to further useless drama by ranting about it on that abominable website. Don’t mind her.” Dipper teased with a smile. 

 

Mabel slapped his arm while still typing furiously on her phone. Dipper just laughed and parked the car at Gravity Falls mall.

 

“This is the perfect place to practice your people skills and gain buzz for your campaign. Now give me back my flower crown.” 

 

Dipper opened the car door and climbed out, hoping he hadn’t just made the biggest mistake ever by bringing Bill to the mall. 

  
***


	4. The hots for Mr. Scalene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING
> 
> I lost my muse for a while but it's back and kicking so I'll try and work on it daily. as always, it's short. sorry about that
> 
> ***I didn't look over the chapter before posting, sorry for any errors***

The mall was a very bad idea. As soon as they got out of the car it was a bad idea, as Pacifica just  _ had  _ to go to the mall today! He just knew she would tease him about how he wanted to dress…

 

“Sup dorks?” She said in a nonchalant tone. 

 

“Pacifica! You look amazing! How are you?” Mabel exclaimed brightly, bouncing over to stand next to Dipper. 

 

“I’m good. Though Mary is going to be the death of me! Like chill man.” She replied. “Oh Dipper, I love your outfit.”   
  


Dipper blushed and gave a quick “Th-thanks”. 

 

Mabel gasped. “I have a great idea,” she announced brightly, “let’s go and help Dipper pick out some new clothes!”

 

Pacifica smiled. Not her usual “I’m better than you and you know it” smirk, no, an actual smile. “That sounds like a great idea Mabel. Are you down Dipper?”   
  


“Y-yeah,” he replied lamely. 

 

Mabel smiled brightly and wound her arms through Pacifica’s. “Come on Dipper, you too Bill. Let us fashion experts teach you how to dress!”

 

***

 

Dipper had thought Bill would laugh at him as the girls shoved item after item in his hand before pushing him to the fitting rooms ordering him to come out and show them every single outfit. He expected nonstop teasing, though Bill only offered his opinion… for someone that knows nothing about being human he sure did have one hell of a fashion sense. All in all Dipper had fun, the girls were ecstatic that they could take him under their wing and Bill seemed content enough. Dipper had been watching him closely all day. He was unsure if Bill had noticed and if he had, he didn’t say anything.

 

The girls had noticed though. ‘And let the torture begin’ Dipper thought as they smirked to one another.

 

“So Dipper, I couldn’t help but notice you notice Bill. Something you’d like to tell us?” Mabel asked with a bright grin.

 

Dipper turned a shade of red a tomato would be proud of. “I did not “notice” Bill Mabel! I’m watching him for suspicious activity!”

 

Pacifica scoffed, “Yeah right. You got the hots for mr. candidate over there.”

 

Dipper looked to where she gestured to see Bill look over at them with a confused look on his face.

 

“It’s not like that! I don’t even know the guy!” Dipper squeaked in defense of his honor. 

 

Both girls just smiled and greeted Bill as he wandered back over. 

 

“This is the perfect place to create buzz over your campaign,” Dipper started, “we just need to figure out what that is.”

 

Before anyone could say anyone Shandra Jimenez spotted them and rushed towards Bill. “Mr. Cipher, Shandra Jimenez here. You surprised us all by throwing your hat into the ring, now the question on everyone’s mind is what is your campaign?” 

 

Bill cleared his throat. He looked around mildly panicked before his eyes locked on something. Dipper closed his eyes, preparing himself for the embarrassment that was sure to come.

 

“Scalene triangle.” Bill said with conviction, like the words would solve all the world’s problems. 

 

Everyone one around them fell silent. Dipper opened his eyes to see everyone staring. He was about to facepalm when everyone started excitedly. There were shouts of “Cipher for mayor” and “scalene triangle.” Mabel smiled brightly before grabbing Bills arm and tugging him away. 

 

“Well, I guess we figured out your campaign!” Mabel laughed. 

 

Pacifica giggled. “What the hell does it even mean?”

 

Bill smiled as well. “I have no idea.”   
  


Dipper looked at them all before grinning. “Well you’ve certainly created buzz.”

 

Bill stared. Mabel shared a look with Pacifica and smirked. Dipper shook his head at them.

 

“So, are you  guys ready to go?”

 

***

 

Dipper drove Bill to his house before he and Mabel returned to theirs. Mabel kept smiling at him, and he ignored her. 

 

“You like Bill Cipher, don’t you Dipper?” 

 

Dipper blushed. “No, I do not.”

 

Mabel’s smile turned into a wide grin. “Whatever you say Dip Dop.”

  
***


	5. Paz and Mabel are very tricky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper's mopping about, Paz and Mabel decide it needs to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY!!!!!! I hadn't planned on leaving this story alone for so long (and I've had this chapter written in my notebook since august and I lost the notebook!!! I'm really heckin' stupid) but life always ruins things :((((
> 
> I plan on trying to post every Sunday from now on. Sorry for the long wait :(((((

As it turns out, Scalene Triangles was a  _very_ good route for Bill's campaign. It was all anyone was talking about, and it irked dipper to no end. Bill was the most popular candidate. He had no policies, no promises and, most important of all, no political experience what-so-ever.

 

Everywhere he went everything was all about triangles. There was even triangle "merchandise" in the form of bright yellow tee-shirts with "SCALENE TRIANGLE" in the font of comic sans in multiple colors. The shirts were not pretty but most wore them with pride, which left Dipper in a constant state of annoyance. Mabel would smile knowingly at him, he would growl at her and hole himself up in his room most of the time. Dipper was brooding but he didn't know why.

 

***

 

Mabel smirked as she heard her brother slam his door. He had been moody all week and it was time for reinforcement. Her thumbs moved quickly as she tapped away at her phone.

 

She smiled when she got an immediate answer. Dipper was about to be forced out of his funk.

 

***

 

She stared at the door in poorly hidden disgust as she raised her hand to knock. She had to remind herself that this was all for Dipper. At first, she had planned to continue with the teasing, but as soon as she had seen the resigned look in his eyes, she knew she had to protect him. He looked so vulnerable in the flower crown that she had decided right then and there she would take him under her wings. 

 

That's why she was at the shack. When she had received Mabel's text, she had dropped everything and arrived as quickly as she could.

 

She smiled brightly as Mabel opened the door. she walked past her and scanned the room.

 

"Where's our mopey boy?" She turned to Mabel. "This has to stop today."

 

Mabel nodded in agreement, "He's up in his room. He's done nothing but sulk!"

 

Pacifica shook her head. "We can't have that, now can we?"

 

They both shared a smirk before marching up stairs. Dipper wouldn't know what hit him. 

 

***

 

Upon entering, it became very clear that Dipper had no plans to leave the room. He laid face down under his comforter, the only thing visible was the top of his head

 

"Go 'way!" Came his muffled shout.

 

"We don't think so, Dip-Dop," Mabel replied in a sing-song voice.

 

Dipper shifted and turned to look at Mabel and Pacifica's form. He groaned

 

"Not you too!" He shoved his head under his pillow.

 

Pacifica sauntered over and ripped the pillow off his head. "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! You need to stop acting like a drama queen and go take what you want!"

 

Dipper burrowed himself further into the comforter. "I don't know what you are talking about..."

 

Mabel sighed in exasperation. "You can't fool us, Dipper! We know you want Mr. Candidate! So if you're finished pretending, you can go and get him!"

 

She ripped the comforter of his slim body, leaving Dipper exposed to the chilly air of his room. Dipper Whined weakly in protest.

 

"Give me back my blanket!"

 

"Nope!"

 

Mabel was glad Dipper was a light, weak person as she easily dragged him out of bed, causing him to land of the floor with a high pitched yelp.

 

"Mabel!" He squeaked. 

 

"Go shower," Pacifica commanded. "We're going to give you a makeover."

 

Dipper grumbled but complied in fear of having Pacifica strip him and wash him herself, and her face clearly said she would.

 

***

 

Dipper wiggled out of his clothes and turned the shower on. He waited until the water was nearly scalding before finally getting in. Maybe the girls were right, maybe he _needed_ to face this. 

 

'Or,' a voice said nervously in the back of his mind, 'you could not? I mean, he'll probably reject you any way. Why risk it?'

 

Oh god! His brain was right! He couldn't do it! Bill would probably laugh and slam the door in his face! 

 

'But, he might listen. He might even feel the same. The only way to find out is to confront him.' A stronger more reasonable voice chipped in.

 

Dipper sighed, trying to calm his racing mind.

 

'If I tell him, I'll feel better.' 

 

With newly found determination, he shut off the water and wrapped himself in a soft towel. He clutched it tightly as if it would protect him as he left the bathroom and trotted silently back to his bedroom. When he opened the door he found Mabel and Pacifica setting up a box filed with makeup and a verity of nail polish. 

 

Pacifica turned to look at him and smiled. "We laid out an outfit for you. It's on your bed."

 

He turned to see a beautifully simple outfit and began putting on the clothing. He first put on the plain, white top with a mandarin collar followed by green pants that started light and the waist and end dark at the ankles. He slipped on the black ballet flats that they had put next to a grey overcoat that looked perfect for the mild chill in the evening air, and picked up the beautiful gold colored metal flower crown and placed it on his head. All in all, the outfit was perfect.

 

***

 

Mabel walked around her brother, slowly inspecting his outfit. "I don't know, what do you think, Paz?"

 

Pacifica smiled softly when Dipper's worried eyes shifted to her. 

 

"I think he looks absolutely stunning." Dipper flushed and the compliment and smiled happily.

 

Mabel was close to tears at how happy he looked. It had been a long time since she had seen that look.

 

Dipper rang his hands nervously, the bright red flush still in place. "I don't know guys, what if we not go to see Bill and say we did?"

 

Pacifica tsked and shook her head in mild disapproval. "No way. This is happening, buddy. Besides, you look beautiful. There's no way he could say no to that face."

 

Dipper took a deep breath in and seemed to think over her words. "Okay, let's go before I change my mind."

 

Mabel squealed in delight and pulled him into a tight hug. Dipper laughed and awkwardly patter her on the back.

 

***

 

'Why did I think I could do this?' Dipper thought nervously as he smoothed his coat. He stared at Bill's front door, his hands shaking in fright as he hesitantly raised it to knock. 'It's now or never' he breathed deeply as he tapped on the door timidly.

 

He waited anxiously, he was just about to knock again, thinking Bill hadn't heard him when the door swung open revealing an immaculately dressed Bill. 'Does he always have to dress so perfectly?' his mind questioned as he heard his sister start the car and leave. He turned, glaring at the car in betrayal. 'So much for backup.'

 

"Pine tree!" Bill exclaimed in genuine excitement. "What brings you here to my humble abo-" he abruptly cut himself off, eyes raking over dippers form. "Whoa, pine tree. Get all dressed up for me?"

 

Dipper blushed and stuttered. "Y-yes, I mean no-no, uh wait um, I did, actually... U-unless you think that's weird..."

 

Bill quickly shook his head. "No, not at all. I'm flattered, actually. Please, come in. Would you like me to take your coat?"

 

Dipper stepped inside handing Bill his coat looking around. Bill's house was light with a lot of windows, all showing the same beautiful view of the forest. There were stairs in the entry way heading to a loft area with doors he assumed were bedrooms and an open floor plan. The living room was cozy with a large fire place being the focal point in the room. There was no formal dining room, but there was a six person table and a breakfast bar, and a door off to the side which he assumed lead to a bathroom. 

 

"Y-you have a very lovely house." Dipper stated awkwardly.

 

Bill looked as nervous as he felt, which was strange, considering he always had a teasing yet confident air about him. "I guess..."

 

Dipper sighed and chewed his lip, his eyes moving but never landing on Bill. 

 

"U-um bill?" He started hesitantly, only continuing when Bill nodded. "Oh god, I um, kinda uh, Ikindalikeyoualot."

 

Bill blinked at the fast spoken words, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

 

Dipper exhaled slowly. "I-I like you Bill... like like-like you." Dipper hung his head at Bill's continued silence, not willing to look and see his reaction. "Uh, it's stupid, I'm just gonna go." 

 

Dipper was just about to turn around and leave when Bill grabbed his hips and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss. Dipper, after getting over his shock, wound his harms around Bill's neck, pulling him closer and melting into his strong body. 

 

They pulled back only when oxygen became a necessity.

 

"Stay?" Bill asked, hands still firmly on Dippers hips.

 

Dipper smiled blindingly and placed a sweet kiss to Bill's lips. "As long as you'll have me."

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned on this chapter being so soon but I figured you all deserved it after that long waiting period! Any way I'd like your guys' input on where the story goes and I've thought of some options!
> 
> 1) It can be a very fluffy story where Bill wins the elections with dippers help, they get married and adopt (or have if you guys want, I haven't really played with the idea of mpreg but if that's the direction you'd like to see this story go, I can work something out... surrogacy is also an option.) and have a happy life, maybe some demon drama in there.   
> 2) Bill doesn't win the elections and Dipper helps hims through the blow and convinces him human life is good and to not try and take over the world  
> 3) Tyler Cutebiker, desperate to win, turns to our favorite inmate, Gideon, for help and they summon a demon hellbent on ruining Bill.
> 
> It also can be a combination of any of ideas or ones you have and would like to see! You can email me with ideas at moldy.voldy00@gmail.com or comment below! 
> 
> Thank you so much! Again, I'm so sorry for the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? All criticism is welcome so feel free to leave a comment. This plot bunny is been running rampant in my mind for a while. It feels good to transfer it from my head and give it a home in my files.


End file.
